Archive for 29 Αυγούστου 2007

Τι έγινε στο Σύνταγμα

29 Αυγούστου, 2007

‘Hταν μια ρομαντική νύχτα με πανσέληνο, και οι ευαισθητοποιημένοι πολίτες με τα μπλέ και τα κράνη κατέβηκαν να διαδηλώσουν ειρηνικά ενάντια στο Στρατηγό Άνεμο, την Ασύμμετρη Απειλή, το Πράσινο που καίει το Πράσινο και ό,τι μαλακία δεν έχει σκεφτεί ακόμα το επιτελείο του Ρουσόπουλου.

Ξαφνικά,μια ολιγομελής ομάδα από γνωστούς-άγνωστους αντιεξουσιαστές βγαίνει απο τη γιάφκα «Σύνταγμα-ανταπόκριση με τη γραμμή 2».

Οι θρασύτατοι αντιεξουσιαστές -όλο και πιο ολιγομελείς-στέκονταν αμίλητοι σαν σνομπαρίες που είναι.Τι κουβέντα πήγανε να τους πιάσουνε οι Πραίτωρες, τι τα αρχίδια τους τους δείχνανε,τι κροτίδες τους ρίχνανε στη μάπα, εκεί αυτοί,να το παίζουν μούγκα κι υπεράνω.
Τους γαμείς γιά δεν τους γαμείς μετά κύριε Βύρωνα;

Αποκλειστικό: η Μαφία των εμπρηστών απειλεί και το Στρατό!

29 Αυγούστου, 2007

…Οι ανταποκριτές μας, Monty Python,έχουν το ρεπορτάζ:

Knock at the door, sergeant enters, and salutes.

Sergeant Two civilian gentlemen to see you … sir!
Colonel Show them in please, sergeant.
Sergeant Mr Dino Vercotti and Mr Luigi Vercotti.
The Vercotti brothers enter. They wear Mafia suits and dark glasses.
Dino Good morning, colonel.
Colonel Good morning gentlemen. Now what can I do for you.
Luigi (looking round office casually)You’ve … you’ve got a nice army base here, colonel.
Colonel Yes.
Luigi We wouldn’t want anything to happen to it.
Colonel What?
Dino No, what my brother means is it would be a shame if… (he
knocks something off mantel)
Colonel Oh.
Dino Oh sorry, colonel.
Colonel Well don’t worry about that. But please do sit down.
Luigi No, we prefer to stand, thank you, colonel.
Colonel All right. All right. But what do you want?
Dino What do we want, ha ha ha.
Luigi Ha ha ha, very good, colonel.
Dino The colonel’s a joker, Luigi.
Luigi Explain it to the colonel, Dino.
Dino How many tanks you got, colonel?
Colonel About five hundred altogether.
Luigi Five hundred! Hey!
Dino You ought to be careful, colonel.
Colonel We are careful, extremely careful.
Dino ‘Cos things break, don’t they?
Colonel Break?
Luigi Well everything breaks, don’t it colonel. (he breaks something on desk) Oh dear.
Dino Oh see my brother’s clumsy colonel, and when he gets unhappy he breaks othings.Like say, he don’t feel the army’s playing fair by him,he may start breaking things, colonel.
Colonel What is all this about?
Luigi How many men you got here, colonel?
Colonel Oh, er … seven thousand infantry, six hundred artillery, and er, two divisions of paratroops.
Luigi Paratroops, Dino.
Dino Be a shame if someone was to set fire to them.
Colonel Set fire to them?
Luigi Fires happen, colonel.
Dino Things burn.
Colonel Look, what is all this about?
Dino My brother and I have got a little proposition for you colonel.
Luigi Could save you a lot of bother.
Dino I mean you’re doing all right here aren’t you, colonel.
Luigi Well suppose some of your tanks was to get broken and troops started getting lost, er, fights started breaking out during general inspection, like.
Dino It wouldn’t be good for business would it, colonel?
Colonel Are you threatening me?
Dino Oh, no, no, no.
Luigi Whatever made you think that, colonel?
Dino The colonel doesn’t think we’re nice people, Luigi.
Luigi We’re your buddies, colonel.
Dino We want to look after you.
Colonel Look after me?
Luigi We can guarantee you that not a single armoured division will get done over for fifteen bob a week.
Colonel No, no, no.
Luigi Twelve and six.
Colonel No, no, no.
Luigi Eight and six … five bob…
Colonel No, no this is silly.
Dino What’s silly?
Colonel No, the whole premise is silly and it’s very badly written. I’m the senior officer here and I haven’t had a funny line yet. So I’m stopping it.
Dino You can’t do that!
Colonel I’ve done it. The sketch is over.